……omg! I’ve turned into my dad

grumpy old man

 

In reality, turning into my Dad’s an OK thing. He was a great guy. Funny, kind, generous, loyal, he was all of these. Also, like Mark Twain before me, the older I get the smarter he seems to grow in my memory. That said, he did have a fairly substantial list of pet peaves. To my knowledge he never listed them in writing, but he carried them with him out into public and often put them out there for those close to him to observe, rarely, for all the world to see. I find that, now in my dotage, I too am accumulating quite a list, but choose to write them here in the hope that it may diminish my need to publicly display them. Who knows, by sharing them here it may save me a good a$$-whoopin in the Kroger parking lot someday,

In my initial post in this blog, I shared with you, gentle reader, my acknowledgment that to a degree I have become a grouchy old man. Sometimes things annoy me that once I wouldn’t have even noticed. What follows is a list of some of those. Not surprisingly, many of these “annoyances” are imposed upon me by my friends on Facebook. Annoyances originate elsewhere as well. They come from everywhere, some days. These annoyances here are special ones though. They appear in no particular order, just as they occur to me. My naming them are not meant to provoke anyone who might read this, but in part at least, I hope by naming them, perhaps to strip them of their annoying power. It’s also important for me to make clear, that just because something might annoy me, the source of the annoyance may have less to do with whether or not I agree (often I do) with something or not. More often, it has only to do with the frequency of my exposure to it. So, I readily admit most of this grumble is on me. Let’s get started, shall we? Here we go:

 

  1. “Selfies” (other than my own)
  2. Journalists and broadcasters who end sentences with prepositions.
  3. People from north of the Ohio River who insist on driving 65mph in the passing lane of my interstates.
  4. People from south of the Ohio River who insist on driving 65mph in the passing lane of my interstates. (Only a little less so than those from north of the Ohio)
  5. Semi tractors and trailers that drive on my interstates.
  6. Conservative friends who for political motives constantly put up pictures of guns on Facebook.
  7. Facebook petitions. All of them. OMG what a waste of time. Talk about your spittin’ into the wind. I will never participate.
  8. OMG. Yeah I know I just did it. But I annoyed myself when I did it.
  9. The manner in which my liberal friends say such hateful things about Sarah Palin. I mean c’mon people is she really even relevant anymore? Leave her alone. She’s very pretty
  10. Endless protestant praise for Pope Francis. Do non-catholics really know? Do you really care?
  11. That cardboard/aluminum coated seal that you have to get a knife to peal away inside every mustard, ketchup, soy sauce, coffee creamer container.
  12. The thin plastic seal that you have to cut away from fresh salsa
  13. Any “Easy Open” seal. They’re never easily opened. Usually I end up annihilating them and they wont reseal.
  14. The hushed tones of NPR radio hosts.
  15. Garrison Keillor
  16. Joel Osteen
  17. Game day car team flag fliers
  18. The obligatory Brit employed by every cable news outlet. (why do that hire that guy? Aussies are a little better. They somehow seem more “down to earth.”)
  19. The phrase: Climate Change
  20. The existence of NASCAR
  21. The Winter Olympics
  22. Political ads
  23. Neck Tattoos
  24. Caps worn backwards
  25. flip flops
  26. Anti-tobacco crusaders
  27. Anti-trans fat crusaders
  28. Anti-aspertame crusaders
  29. Anti-GMO crusaders
  30. Anti-gun crusaders
  31. Anti-gay marriage crusaders
  32. Pro-choice crusaders
  33. Pro-life crusaders
  34. Pro-football crusaders…wait…what?
  35. The mayor of NYC
  36. Crusaders of any ilk.
  37. Almost every bumper sticker ever, but especially bumper stickers of a political nature. You can’t imagine how little I care about how, or for whom, you’re going to vote.
  38. Xns who get exorcised at the use of “Xmas.” (If you get what Xns is, you’re probably not one of the Xns that get on my nerves.)
  39. Facebook posts and Twitter tweets exhorting a team, any team, to victory. The team doesn’t care, I don’t care. No one cares. You’re not on the team, so please.
  40. The ghosts in my backyard that cause my dogs to bark and bark and bark and bark and bark and bark and bark……SHUT UP!!
  41. Uploaded pictures of beers and cocktails. Great! You’re getting hammered. I can’t play that game anymore.
  42. Condescending Athiests who think that their non-belief is intellectually superior. For the most part my Athiest/Secular Humanist friends are nicer than average. They tend to be more ethical and decent and laissez faire than a bunch of my xn friends, but for the life of me I wonder where they think their goodness comes from.
  43. Given #2, how difficult it is to always try avoiding the prepositionally ending sentence. See the end of #43, It’s not always easy.
  44. Catching myself in a contradiction.

 

Oh well, that’s all for right now. I’ve sufficiently vented my spleen. No doubt, you’ve found yourself in this somewhere. It doesn’t mean you annoy me. Heck, I love you, and would probably enjoy being friends with the folks that do these things. Certainly, I have annoyed many and maybe even you, but I hope you will extend me the grace and love so often required of me…..And….I also hope you got a smile or two from this. I know I can’t be alone on most of this.